A Few Words about Folks
 |
|
George W. Bush |
Now, you probably heard President Bush's first comments to the nation on the
terrible disaster of September 11th when he said: 'We're going to get the folks
who did this.' I don't think the Folks of America have suffered a comparable
blow since the late Will Rogers said during a national broadcast back in 1934:
'Some folks just ought to mind their own business.' This was a terrible setback
from which it took us years to recover. But I think President Bush's comment was
worse. Some people believe that the President knows what he is saying, and the
negative effects have been widespread and immediate. Trash cans have been
overturned. Windows have been soaped from coast to coast. A Mrs. Prettyman of
River City said that her cat Tiddles was kidnapped, shaved and found wandering
around painted the Mexican national colors. What's worse, there was a report of
a drive-by shooting in Anytown. Thank goodness it was only with a rubbber-band
gun. Allow me if I may to tell you some facts about the Folks of America which
you may not know:
Folks eat dinner at six o'clock every day, and there's always a vacant place
if you happen to drop by. After dinner, Folks sit on the porch listening to
dance music on the radio while they eat home-made peach ice cream. Sometimes
they talk. Younger Folks walk over to the high school baseball diamond and watch
the VFW play the team from Ferguson's Feed Emporium. Folks will return your
football if it goes over into their yard. And baseballs. They might draw the
line at bowling balls. Folks will buy Girl Scout cookies, charity Christmas
cards and even lottery tickets at the front door if they are for a church or
another good cause, but they don't hold with gambling for the sake of it. Folks
have boys named Buddy who play the clarinet in the school band and will take
your daughter to the Alhambra Theater, buy her buttered popcorn and a Coke and
say good-night with a handshake and no funny business. Folks have daughters
nicknamed Midge who are alternates for the school pompon squad and recording
secretary of Job's Daughters. They usually wear braces well into their late
teens. Folks will loan you their lawnmower and not complain if you return it
covered with dried grass. Folks know all of the words to the second verse of
'Amazing Grace'. Folks still have Uncle Jerry's Purple Heart in a drawer
someplace along with the gold-star pennant and telegram grandma got from the War
Department when he didn't come back from Guadalcanal. Folks like a joke as much
as the next person but nothing off-color.
Those are just a sample of the many things the Folks of America are. And I'll
tell you what Folks definitely are NOT. The kind of people who highjack
airliners and crash them into skyscrapers and the Pentagon, killing thousands of
people and causing many millions of dollars worth of property damage. Never
have, never will. Now that you know these things, next time someone starts
talking to you about those awful folks who did those awful things, I hope you
will put them straight in no uncertain terms.
Thank you for your time.
W. Otis 'Red' Whitenblew
President Emeritus
The Folks of America